Healer's Log - Star date 2020 Santa Rosa,CA
I watched this movie today starting Kate Hudson entitled A Little Bit of Heaven. Her character reminded me of my dear old friend and lover Chris in some key ways. She like he was hilarious, the life of the party, and a self proclaimed commitment-phobe who at times ran from emotions. She was beautiful and young like him, and she also was dying of cancer. They both were keen to avoid dying though the prospects seemed grim, and at some point they both said no to western medicine offerings, mostly because they seemed to infuse less quality to the limited number of days they possessed.
In the movie the character made a wish to love. It was all she really wanted out of life though she didn't even know that. Chris was also the answer to my wish to really love and to be loved. His love, like this effervescent screenplay character's, felt so bright despite the part of her that just didn't "do" relationships. And yet there Chris was with me in our relationship so present and dancing, staring admiringly into my eyes, a serendipitous encounter in so many times and places, with whom I discovered an uncanny connection that often translated in the bedroom as a simultaneous ecstasy. He was my little bit of heaven here on earth experienced among waves of excruciating disappointment and grief. Just as he'd somehow manage to deny the incredible nature of our bond, he in my mind foolishly refused to remove that cancerous eye in an act that might have saved his life before it was too late. Maybe he was too attached to the superficial beauty of this world, though I was hoping he'd gain a spiritual sight even in frank blindness. He was set on alternative treatments because he was hoping for a miracle. Maybe he just never saw what I came to see. While he longed for a miraculous healing that would take away his cancer, it became clear to me there was no mysterious code to crack, no picture perfect love to be won in this world. I could see that all along he was the miracle he'd been waiting for, and right there in his laughter or in Kate Hudson's character we already experienced A Little Bit of Heaven.
Tuesday, January 21, 2020
Tuesday, August 26, 2014
The Vessel of the Mother: Fertility Healing with Acupuncture in Santa Rosa, CA
I just re-read my original post from several years ago for this blog. What is alive for me today in that writing is my hope and vision. Now that I have a lot of experience under my belt dealing with various kinds of infertility, recurrent miscarriages, and then later helping women through pregnancies and occasionally doing things like turning breech fetuses or inducing labor using acupuncture and Chinese Medicine, I must say I have positively a more sober additude. My compassion also, however has grown for some of the suffering that goes with infertility and I realize it is not always an easy road to pregnancy and the struggle can sometimes continue after the positive test comes.
This weekend I met up with an old friend whom I hadn't seen in eight years. She shared with me the IUI cycles they had been through, the testicular cancer diagnosis her husband had been through and her second trimester miscarriage. Although my own journey to motherhood had been relatively easier and simpler I could truly empathize with her in a way I wouldn't have been able to eight years ago, a time before I began my formal acupuncture practice specializing in infertility. The truth is I feel like I journeyed along side these women through the "failed cycles," the losses, the trepidation and finally embracing of success, which for some came in the form of adoption or even moving on from the process and for others did include their own child in arms. I recalled to my friend one particularly gut wrenching story of a mother who struggled with habitual miscarriage and saw me to help her retain a pregnancy. Just when we thought she'd stabilized in terms of no longer experiencing bleeding and cramping (signs of threatened miscarriage) she found out the baby had one of those conditions thought to be incompatible with life known as trisomy 18. She chose to keep the pregnancy and the baby actually had a good outcome for a boy with this condition and lived for several days. Although I recounted to her the sadness I felt in assisting her with this pregnancy, I also noted the gifts that came to me through this case. This woman proved a mother in a very selfless manner that showed me something of the vessel for life women are in pregnancy and child birth. She gave this little soul a chance to express in form when many others would not have. I told my friend that this woman had been a surrogate and I felt like this is part of what allowed her to hold and let go of her own son so gracefully. "It is like she knew she was just the vessel for spirit to come through, I said, like she knew she was just bearing a gift that was not hers to keep."
Although often things are more cheerful and "successful" than some aspects of my care with this woman, the experience emphasized something important for me of the grace that can come through even when a woman does not take home the "little miracle" of a baby. The process of conceiving and bearing a child are just that--miracles, and we must not get lost in the material aspects of that creation so much that we forget to connect to the divine in the receiving of the gifts of children. While I teach women to attend to practical aspects of childbearing such as better diet and self massage, in this process we must forget to beseach the divine for its blessing, allowing our own divinity be illuminated by our expression as mothers or caregivers (in my case) in this world.
For more information about having a healthy and divine conception visit http://www.santarosa-acupuncture.com or call Kat Delse Mardirous, L.Ac. at 707 775-8311
This weekend I met up with an old friend whom I hadn't seen in eight years. She shared with me the IUI cycles they had been through, the testicular cancer diagnosis her husband had been through and her second trimester miscarriage. Although my own journey to motherhood had been relatively easier and simpler I could truly empathize with her in a way I wouldn't have been able to eight years ago, a time before I began my formal acupuncture practice specializing in infertility. The truth is I feel like I journeyed along side these women through the "failed cycles," the losses, the trepidation and finally embracing of success, which for some came in the form of adoption or even moving on from the process and for others did include their own child in arms. I recalled to my friend one particularly gut wrenching story of a mother who struggled with habitual miscarriage and saw me to help her retain a pregnancy. Just when we thought she'd stabilized in terms of no longer experiencing bleeding and cramping (signs of threatened miscarriage) she found out the baby had one of those conditions thought to be incompatible with life known as trisomy 18. She chose to keep the pregnancy and the baby actually had a good outcome for a boy with this condition and lived for several days. Although I recounted to her the sadness I felt in assisting her with this pregnancy, I also noted the gifts that came to me through this case. This woman proved a mother in a very selfless manner that showed me something of the vessel for life women are in pregnancy and child birth. She gave this little soul a chance to express in form when many others would not have. I told my friend that this woman had been a surrogate and I felt like this is part of what allowed her to hold and let go of her own son so gracefully. "It is like she knew she was just the vessel for spirit to come through, I said, like she knew she was just bearing a gift that was not hers to keep."
Although often things are more cheerful and "successful" than some aspects of my care with this woman, the experience emphasized something important for me of the grace that can come through even when a woman does not take home the "little miracle" of a baby. The process of conceiving and bearing a child are just that--miracles, and we must not get lost in the material aspects of that creation so much that we forget to connect to the divine in the receiving of the gifts of children. While I teach women to attend to practical aspects of childbearing such as better diet and self massage, in this process we must forget to beseach the divine for its blessing, allowing our own divinity be illuminated by our expression as mothers or caregivers (in my case) in this world.
For more information about having a healthy and divine conception visit http://www.santarosa-acupuncture.com or call Kat Delse Mardirous, L.Ac. at 707 775-8311
Monday, May 10, 2010
Brilliant Heart Health Care for All Your Pre & Post Natal Needs
Let The Process of Having A Baby Uplift You!
Many years ago, as a college student I discovered I was meant to be healer. This knowledge came through a series of mystical dreams that often involved babies. In the first dream I was pregnant by immaculate conception. I had no husband or boyfriend, but still found myself fully pregnant and giving birth on a hospital bed. My dream baby was birthed effortlessly in luminous gold energy and I named her "Love." Soon after my dream I trained in Reiki energy healing and knew I'd been given I divine calling to share love and healing with the world and that somehow this healing would involve babies.
As the years progressed, so did the "miracle baby" of healing I gave birth to. I had the opportunity to counsel pregnant women and attend births as a spiritual midwife and later went on to become an acupuncturist and herbalist who specializes in helping women to get pregnant and have healthy pregnancies and deliveries. I've helped women who were deemed infertile by their doctors to conceive and have healthy babies without drugs. I've turned babies who were in breech position and helped to induce labor without medical interventions.
I know that each baby is a miracle and that the process of getting pregnant and having a healthy baby can be miraculous for every woman. May the brilliant gift of "Love" I gave birth to bless you to conceive and reap your own deepest dream.
For more information or to schedule an appointment call Kat Delse, L.Ac. at (707) 775-8311 or visit www.santarosa-acupuncture.com
Many years ago, as a college student I discovered I was meant to be healer. This knowledge came through a series of mystical dreams that often involved babies. In the first dream I was pregnant by immaculate conception. I had no husband or boyfriend, but still found myself fully pregnant and giving birth on a hospital bed. My dream baby was birthed effortlessly in luminous gold energy and I named her "Love." Soon after my dream I trained in Reiki energy healing and knew I'd been given I divine calling to share love and healing with the world and that somehow this healing would involve babies.
As the years progressed, so did the "miracle baby" of healing I gave birth to. I had the opportunity to counsel pregnant women and attend births as a spiritual midwife and later went on to become an acupuncturist and herbalist who specializes in helping women to get pregnant and have healthy pregnancies and deliveries. I've helped women who were deemed infertile by their doctors to conceive and have healthy babies without drugs. I've turned babies who were in breech position and helped to induce labor without medical interventions.
I know that each baby is a miracle and that the process of getting pregnant and having a healthy baby can be miraculous for every woman. May the brilliant gift of "Love" I gave birth to bless you to conceive and reap your own deepest dream.
For more information or to schedule an appointment call Kat Delse, L.Ac. at (707) 775-8311 or visit www.santarosa-acupuncture.com
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